Lately I've been experiencing something that I can best describe as writers' block, but it's not only my writing that's been affected - it feels like my entire brain is just blocked. My creative thinking, my inner reflection, and my prayer life are all at a stand still and I am starting to get anxious that it won't go away with just time. I have had some phases like this before, but they were relatively short lived and were usually linked to stress or busyness. This time though, it's lingering longer than I am comfortable with and I now need to figure out what the problem might be.
I have been trying to force this fog to clear, or to at least get myself to a less foggy place, but I seem to be having little success. When I have time to myself, my self-reflection and prayers quickly (I mean in a matter of milliseconds) turn to my current events or to something completely unimportant like what toy I should get my cat-and if she would even play with it anyways-and if I'm a bad cat mom because she never has any fun toys or jungle gyms like other cats... and then I never make my way back to the intended purpose. Is the problem that everything is going relatively well for me right now so I don't have anything to think deeply about or ask for God's help with? Am I avoiding the honesty of sincerely taking a look into my heart? Or is it some kind of combination of both?
I was recently looking through the blog page of Joanna Gaines from HGTV's 'Fixer Upper' when I had a moment of clarity from my foggy state. Reading Joanna's posts about the ways that her family lives out their passions, their faith, and their love for one another started to light a small fire into my soul that I have been missing in my haze. I began to think about my own passions and chasing after dreams that seem impossible for me right now and I realized that I haven't been thinking about those things recently. The opposite of passion is apathy, and I think that my foggy blanket is fabricated from an apathetic state. For some reason I stopped making plans for a forward movement in the direction of my passions because, if I'm really honest with myself, I am giving up on my dreams! I have doubts that God wants to use my life to do something greater than what I am capable of on my own, so I feel like I will forever be stuck doing the same mediocre things that I am doing now.
Having this realization alone isn't going to get me into a clear state, but it does make it easier to start making changes in my habits in order to try to fix it. I need to get back to the things that draw my heart out and keep me joyful and hopeful for great things. Keeping my spirit on fire takes effort on my part, and I have not been putting any work into it lately. God will guide my footsteps, but that does mean that I have to be already moving my feet or at least standing with some good walking shoes on, and right now I am sitting around hoping for the next thing to just happen to me. I have never met anyone that accidently ended up with all their dreams. Even if their destination was different than what they intended, they were working toward something when they got there. If I want to get the most out of life, then I need to make some changes. For me that means pulling my bible off the shelf and actually trying to hear from God, and it means getting my butt to church. It also means writing out a plan for my future and intentionally working towards it. What do I want the next five years to look like? The next ten? It means lifting those plans up to God and asking Him to bless them or to give me something even better that I haven't even thought of yet. I challenge you to do the same thing today. Dust off your dreams and ask God for things that to you seem impossible. I am going to write out some of my goals for this upcoming week that I think will help me to get back on track, and I encourage you to write yours out as well. Even post them below in a comment!
1. Write out a 5 year plan with everything that I can dream up listed on it.
2. Read my bible once a day, every day.
3. Go to church - no excuses.
I was recently looking through the blog page of Joanna Gaines from HGTV's 'Fixer Upper' when I had a moment of clarity from my foggy state. Reading Joanna's posts about the ways that her family lives out their passions, their faith, and their love for one another started to light a small fire into my soul that I have been missing in my haze. I began to think about my own passions and chasing after dreams that seem impossible for me right now and I realized that I haven't been thinking about those things recently. The opposite of passion is apathy, and I think that my foggy blanket is fabricated from an apathetic state. For some reason I stopped making plans for a forward movement in the direction of my passions because, if I'm really honest with myself, I am giving up on my dreams! I have doubts that God wants to use my life to do something greater than what I am capable of on my own, so I feel like I will forever be stuck doing the same mediocre things that I am doing now.
Having this realization alone isn't going to get me into a clear state, but it does make it easier to start making changes in my habits in order to try to fix it. I need to get back to the things that draw my heart out and keep me joyful and hopeful for great things. Keeping my spirit on fire takes effort on my part, and I have not been putting any work into it lately. God will guide my footsteps, but that does mean that I have to be already moving my feet or at least standing with some good walking shoes on, and right now I am sitting around hoping for the next thing to just happen to me. I have never met anyone that accidently ended up with all their dreams. Even if their destination was different than what they intended, they were working toward something when they got there. If I want to get the most out of life, then I need to make some changes. For me that means pulling my bible off the shelf and actually trying to hear from God, and it means getting my butt to church. It also means writing out a plan for my future and intentionally working towards it. What do I want the next five years to look like? The next ten? It means lifting those plans up to God and asking Him to bless them or to give me something even better that I haven't even thought of yet. I challenge you to do the same thing today. Dust off your dreams and ask God for things that to you seem impossible. I am going to write out some of my goals for this upcoming week that I think will help me to get back on track, and I encourage you to write yours out as well. Even post them below in a comment!
1. Write out a 5 year plan with everything that I can dream up listed on it.
2. Read my bible once a day, every day.
3. Go to church - no excuses.
I don't know that working on these things this week will help to clear my apathetic fog, but I know that they certainly won't hurt anything! I know that there are things that are out of my control, but whenever possible, I want to be a woman of action and these few goals are my first steps in changing the condition of my heart back to where I know it should be.
It is so hard to get out of a funk. I think we all experience it at one time or another. There is no way to force creativity, rather immerse yourself in an environment that will help your creativity grow.
ReplyDeleteI think that you are so right Keelie. Creativity usually comes when you stop trying for it and focus on nutrient good things in your life!
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